I want to share a theme from my experience of coaching leaders: the value of asking questions.  Some might think this relevant only to new leaders.  I’d disagree: often leaders feel they ought to know the answers whereas actually asking the question can be much more impactful.

These coachees – like most leaders – want to lead well, creating a place where each individual can contribute to the best of their ability.  Through coaching, I encourage the leader to consider that they do not have all the answers and should not make assumptions; instead they should ask questions to understand each individual’s own solutions.  A few suggestions below of how this might look…

“What do I need to know about you to lead you well?”

This very open question unearths quite different insights ranging from possible thinking styles (eg “I think best out loud so I’d value time with you to talk through situations”), through appreciation (eg “I don’t like public ‘shout-outs’; I’d much prefer a quiet ‘thank you’ from you when you feel I’ve done well), to boundaries (eg “I have caring responsibilities which mean I must leave the office promptly at 5pm but I will ensure my work gets done”).  Insights which the leader would probably not have guessed.

“What is important to you?”

Asking this question with genuine curiosity gives the leader a deeper insight into each team member’s feeling of purpose, values and motivation.  The different answers from each individual also serve as a useful reminder that what is important to one team member may hold little value for another and an effective leader will interact with each accordingly.

“What does success mean to you?”

Our sense of purpose, values, drivers, ambitions are personal, therefore what we define as ‘success’ will be personal too and may well change at different periods of life.  Asking this question might prompt the team member to a fresh reflection, and the answer will give the leader insight into how to connect the individual’s goals to those of the team or wider organisation – such an alignment can be powerful for moving everyone together towards their vision of success.

“How can I best help you?”

This simple question is one of the most powerful.  It underlines that the leader sees their role not as ‘commanding’ but as serving their team members – lifting up and supporting.  It encourages the team member to openly share their priorities, opportunities and challenges, helping the leader focus their attention and support where it is most impactful.

“What do you want to happen in the next 3 years?”

I find this most impactful to ask as “If you and I are sitting down 3 years from now, what would you want to have learned, what skills or experience would you want to have gained, how would you want your career to have developed?”  Together, you can then work out how to make this happen.

At the risk of stating the obvious… More important even than asking these questions is what the leader does with the answers.  If the answer is ‘nothing’ then it is both an opportunity lost (to have supported the team member and developed them professionally) and a problem created (the team member was open and vulnerable, but for no benefit; they will be reluctant to be so again).  Thererfore listen well to the answers (another key leadership skill!) and use them mindfully to adopt behaviours which help you lead well.

Posted in Thoughts about leadership