I’m a fan of Simon Sinek and his encouragement for individuals and companies to find their Purpose and ‘Start with Why’.  On his company website there is an exercise he recommends to help you identify your Why.  But sometimes no ‘exercise’ is needed; sometimes you have a moment where you think “This is why I do what I do” and I was lucky enough to have one of those last week….

With my coachee’s permission I am sharing some of their recent feedback.  Why am I doing so?  Because it prompted 3 thoughts:

·      I’m so glad that I took a ‘brave pill’ and stepped out of the corporate world to set up my coaching business 6 years ago.  It is a privilege to be able to do work which I love and which has this impact.  I hope it inspires others to find their purpose.

·      I’m grateful that my coachee shared these thoughts with me.  This reminded me that we don’t tell people often enough the positive impact they have on us, and I resolve to do so more often; I’d love others to do sol too.

·      This feedback highlights some misconceptions around coaching and the reality of coaching: hopefully sharing it will help others understand what a force for good it can be.

The coachee wrote:

“My initial reaction to coaching was one of failure – Why did my firm feel I needed a coach? What have I done wrong? I was, however, very pleasantly surprised to find that coaching wasn’t about what I was doing wrong, for me it was about what could I do to really bring on the things that I was doing right and to help me navigate my way through what was stopping me from being the best version of myself – the version I wanted to be. I also thought coaching would be me telling the coach about my problems and the coach telling me what to do to fix them. This was not what coaching was at all, instead you were masterful at having a conversation and me ultimately telling you what I was going to do and how I was going to do it – this to me, was without doubt, what made coaching work for me.”

This paragraph perfectly illustrates the essence of coaching: it is about supporting you to be the best you can be (both taking opportunities and overcoming challenges – internal and external) through giving you space and encouragement to draw on your own resources, skills and experiences.

The coachee went on to say:

“What I learned during my period of coaching allowed me to move forward as the leader I wanted to be for my team and also for the firm, by getting my mind into a space where I feel prepared, organised and heading in the right direction, and ultimately to remember that I can’t control what others do so I shouldn’t let that take up all of my mind space.

From a personal perspective, I have been much less consumed by the thought of how I am being perceived at work and I have got the work / life balance to a much better place. My health and wellbeing have improved, and my family can really see a difference.

The support I received from you from start to finish was exemplary, you made me feel like I was in a safe space to discuss what my barriers were and how I would break these down one by one. I felt exhausted after some of our discussions, the questions often took me to a much deeper place than I would ever have thought, and I was much more “heart on the sleeve” than I had anticipated.  I always came away with actions (set by me!!!) that I knew were going to make a difference when I completed them – for me, my family, my team and the firm.  I am 100% confident and have seen such a difference in my day-to-day role and at home. I feel like I have the right toolkit and mindset to move forward and achieve the things I want to achieve.”

The coachee deserves the lion’s share of the plaudits: it takes courage and vulnerability to be open and honest not just with the coach but with yourself about what you need and want to change; it requires hard work and determination to press ahead with the incremental steps you have decided upon which lead to sustainable change; there are inevitably ‘bumps in the road’ which test your resilience and commitment.  However, as this feedback clearly shows, the coachee reaps the rewards of their efforts!  And the coach in this case gets to savour that priceless feeling of “This is why I coach”!

With thanks to my coachee (you know who you are!) for such a productive, effective and enjoyable coaching experience, for sharing this feedback with me, and for allowing me to share it with others in the hope that it inspires them.

Posted in Four common themes from my coaching work