Since the pandemic I’ve noticed a new trend in those approaching me to coach them – an increase in people who are well-established in their careers but are asking themselves “Where am I going?” and who want a safe space to work out the answer for themselves.

Many first step into a career propelled by financial necessity, parental expectations, a particular idea of what success should look like, or ignorance of all the options out there.  As that career progresses it becomes harder to find the time, or the courage, to take stock of whether they are heading where they now want to go.  Whether prompted by the strange times of the pandemic, reflections while walking on a beach, or a simple desire to live your best life, this piece of reflection can be incredibly valuable, indeed life-changing.

As a coach, I do not provide answers, rather I ask questions or pose challenges which hopefully prompt you to think deeply, draw on your own resources and come to the conclusions which are right for you.  I thought it might therefore be useful to share on LinkedIn some of the questions we might explore together.

What role does purpose play in your career and wider life?

The dictionary tells us that Purpose is “the reason something exists, an intended end; aim; or goal”. For individuals Purpose creates meaning, offers a sense of direction and helps guide paths, ambitions and behaviours.  I would argue that Purpose is not one grand statement, which is constant over time; rather Purpose will have several sources and prompts and the focus may well change over a lifetime.

There will be elements of Purpose which are centred in your core Values: these will endure.  These core elements are overlaid with context at a given time, particularly key roles that you assume and relinquish over a lifetime such as partner, parent, carer or leader.  A further influence can be external significant events, such as the Covid19 pandemic, which force change upon you.  Questions to help you determine what a purposeful life might look like for you would include:

  • As an individual what are the elements of your Purpose which are centred in your core values?  How can you recognise these and build on them?
  • What life roles are important to you and how do you make time to ensure that you are fulfilling and enjoying these as much as possible?
  • What external-driven changes have been good for you and how will you sustain those positive developments?  By contrast, what bad habits have you fallen into in recent times and how will you leave those behind?

What are you really really good at?

Too often we focus on feedback which tells us what we need to get better at, or what we need to do differently.  Whereas often the key to fulfilling your potential and identifying the best route forward lies in reflecting upon the positives:

  • What are your strengths, skills and experiences: how can you use them to make a positive impact for others?
  • What excites you?  What are you curious about?  What do you want to learn?  What gives you energy which will fuel your continued growth?
  • What do you want your days to look like, so that you wake up looking forward to the day?  How do you want to spend your time?  Who do you want to interact with?  Where do you want to be?

The aim of this part of the reflection is to come away with a clearer understanding of your unique strengths and drivers and consider how they could be applied in ways which are meaningful.

What trade-offs are you willing to make, or no longer willing to make?

We make choices based on our needs and priorities at that time: what we often fail to do in the hurly-burly of life is stop and reflect upon whether those choices still make sense now and whether they serve us well for the future we want.  The questions here are relatively simple but the answers may not be: remember there are rarely right or wrong answers – the important thing is to consider the questions from a variety of angles and make your decisions with intention:

  • What are your priorities now and in the foreseeable future?
  • What compromises are you willing to make to focus on achieving these priorities?
  • How will you ensure that you will intentionally review these choices in the future?

I hope that these questions help you see how valuable this piece of reflection can be: consider your Purpose, draw on your strengths and experiences, re-evaluate your priorities and intentionally create a path forward which takes you to where you want to go.

For a thought-provoking read to inspire broader reflection I’d recommend “The 100-year life: living and working in an age of longevity” by Lynda Gratton and Andrew Scott.  Blending economics, psychology and sociology, this book encourages you to reflect on what increased life expectancy will bring in terms of changes and challenges but also opportunities: how can you get the most from your life, making better decisions so you are happier at each life stage.  Well worth reading!

Posted in Four common themes from my coaching work