What are your strengths? ‘Phone’ a friend! In my Executive Coaching practice I believe passionately that the Coachee and I should spend as much time focused on elevating their strengths as tackling their areas for development. Drawing on and showcasing your strengths is what makes you stand out from your peers and often what will give you greatest enjoyment in your job.

Yet when I first ask a Coachee to tell me about their strengths they often struggle. This might be for any number of reasons:
– They have been brought up to think of talking about what they are good at as ‘boasting’, ‘being big-headed’ or ‘showing off’ ie A Bad Thing!
– They judge others as ‘self-promoting’ or ‘blowing their own trumpet’ and don’t want to be seen in the same way.
– Following Performance Reviews their mind dwells on the negative feedback, the things they could do better, rather than reflecting on the things they were told they did really well.

To get past this barrier I use a simple exercise: I suggest that the Coachee imagine that I am talking to someone else and ask them a question:
·     To their best friend “What makes the Coachee such a great friend?”
·     To their colleague “What do you most value about working with the Coachee?”
·     To their boss “What does the Coachee contribute to the team?”
·     To their mentor “What do you see in the Coachee which makes you want to nurture their development?”

There is something about imagining someone else talking about them which helps the Coachee get past the awkwardness of talking about their own strengths and instead feels less personal, more objective and reflective. I ask for 5 answers from each imagined person, as that prompts the Coachee to go past the obvious answers and dig deeper, perhaps identifying strengths which they have not previously recognised or acknowledged even to themselves.

With the rich content this exercise provides, the Coachee and I can then work on how they best build on these strengths and use them at work to drive both performance and enjoyment.

Does this struggle to articulate strengths resonate with you? Have you tried this exercise, and who else might you imagine asking? Or is there something else you do to get past this barrier?  I’d love to hear what you think in the comments.

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Posted in Four common themes from my coaching work